Memories of Those Gone Before Me

Today is March 17th – St. Patrick’s Day.

Being of Irish decent (my paternal grandparents immigrated as teens), living in the Irish town of Boston, MA and coming from a family known to tip a glass or two, St. Patrick’s Day was about celebrating with excess.

Now I enjoy a good party as much as the next but I always struggled with using this holiday as a excuse for drunkenness.

For many years now, instead of the chaos and foolishness that can take over this day, I think about St. Patrick, the man and how he used his hard life for good.  A short and concise history can be found here.

I also think of family members who are no longer with us…Dad, Uncle Charlie, Uncle Henry, Gingy, Buppa, Colin, Nanny, Auntie Barbara Jean, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Chris. I remember the love they had for their family and how I learned so much from each of them.

As I raise my own children, I share the facts of why St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland and how green is the color of Ireland because of all the green fields that cover the landscape.  I tell them happy stories of those family members no longer with us.

And I remember my father singing a song when he would miss his dad.

So on this St. Patrick’s Day I share the lyrics with you.

The Parting Glass (listen here)

Of all the money that ere I had, I spent it in good company.
And of all the harm that ere I’ve done, alas was done to none but me.
And all I’ve done for want of wit, to memory now I cannot recall.
So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.

Of all the comrades that ere I had, they’re sorry for my going away,
And of all the sweethearts that ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise while you should not,
I will gently rise and I’ll softly call, “Goodnight and joy be with you all!”

Oh, if I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile
There is a fair maid in this town that sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosey cheeks and ruby lips, she alone has my heart in thrall.
So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.

Small Acts = Big Impact

The sweetest thing just happened to me.

I am sitting on the couch, working away on my laptop and suddenly “Little Miss” announces “Mama, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you”.

Now, bed time was half an hour ago, “Little Man” is already asleep and I am trying to not be grumpy at “Little Miss’” attempts at avoiding bed.  “Ok, my eyes are closed”, I reply.  She scampers in, leaves something on my lap and scampers out.  I open my eyes to find a torn out sheet from a composition notebook.

A simple love poem, written from the heart of a little girl – what a truly beautiful token of affection.

This small act made me think about how we can be more giving and thoughtful in our everyday life.  Last week I had a special opportunity to make a huge impact with a small act.  A group of us ladies pitched in to purchase a much needed item for a friend.  This gift will be a blessing to her.

What are you doing that has big impact?  Are there any small acts you can incorporate into your routines?  Here are a few that I enjoy…

Love notes in lunch boxes – every so often I send a napkin with a note in my daughter’s lunch box.  She thinks it is so much fun to find a special message from me every once in a while.

Flowers just because – I love flowers and I enjoy gardening.  Every summer I grow quite an array of blooms.  Instead of keeping all the beauty for myself I share.  Last year, while my Iris beds were in full bloom, I cut buckets full and delivered to teachers, family and friends.  It was a small act on my part but brought many smiles.

A word of gratitude – Every so often I will send an email or text message to a friend or family member thanking them for all they do to make my life a better place, a little easier and a lot happier.  Just a few words sent off allows your inner circle to know they are appreciated.  Couldn’t we all use a little more appreciation here and there?

Make yourself a cup of tea – Don’t forget to give a little love to yourself.  Every evening I make myself a big cup of my favorite tea to enjoy after the kids are in bed.  This ritual allows me to take a moment, breathe deeply, and relax.

Looking for more ideas on enjoy your days more?  Shoot me an email at Kate@askcoachkate.com and we will get your started.

Oh, and if you are in New England, be sure to check out the Women In Business Summit on March 26^, 2011.  I am joining an amazing line up of presenters and would love to have you join us.

Midnight Musings on Love…

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 1 Corinthians 13:4 (New International Version, ©2010)

I have carried this verse in my heart for a long time, for most of my life.   There is a quiet truth that rings from it and when you sit quietly and think about what love  – pure love – is, you can hear it. 

I struggled with knowing this pur love most of my life as do many people.  I knew it was out there but could not quite capture it.  

Pure love is not to be captured.  Pure love flows from within and swells outward. 

Following my divorce, I wondered what was wrong with me that I could not find a healthy, pure love.  So I started from scratch.  I went back to the begining of where all love starts from.  I started at the most essential love – God!  I have not doubted God’s love for me since I was a young teen and I had a quiet knowing that this part of my journey was needed to fully know pure love.

So I prayed…I prayed to know God’s will for my life, I prayed to provided for my children, and I prayed for my heart to heal.  I did not pray to find a man, to feel better through the outward affection of another.  I did not seek refuge in this world – in alcohol, sex, drugs, shopping or any number of options to hide from the pain.  Instead, I opened my mangled heart to God’s will and by doing so found healing.

Through healing, my heart found forgiveness for myself and others.  Forgiveness for this mother’s broken heart that her children would not have the “family” I thought I had created.  

Forgiveness came in unexpected waves for wrongs done decades before and  another part of my heart opened up.   I could now embrace the love my family surrounded me with.

Bit by bit, my heart healed.  I found self love.  Gentle, kind and caring love for myself.  My expectations of how I am treated have risen.  There is no room for unacceptable behavior here.  I finally hold others to the high expectations I have always held myself to.  My life is full of caring friends and family. 

My children know love, safety, gentle kisses and warm hugs.  Love flows from my heart at the mere thought of them. 

And when I am tired and weary, I remember to love my children as God loves me because …

Love is patient, Love is kind.

 

Snow Days vs. Work Days

Old Man Winter is at it again here in New England as we prepare for another 7″ -12″ of snow tonight after just coming out of first deep freeze of the season with sub-zero temps.

Of course all this snow means lots of snow days!

School has already been called for tomorrow and Friday was a scheduled training day for the teachers. Including this week – the kids will have been home 6 days in the past 3 weeks!

Now that can put a wrench in your work plans!

Many of you are finding yourselves dealing with snow days and keeping kids busy while getting some work accomplished so I thought I would share some tips on how to help yourself .

First, be realistic about when the kids will be home and how much you can expect to accomplish with them house bound.  It is probably not a great idea to plan a new project or schedule a full day of client sessions when the forcast calls for a foot of snow. 

Secondly, figure out what you can accomplish with the kids help.  You may be surprised at how much can get done by including the kids.  Don’t forget the power of a paycheck either… your children may become very motivated to assist you if there is a monetary reward attached to the job. 

Third, work side by side.  This may be you working on your schedule book or planning out your business events for the year while your children are coloring or building with legos at the kitchen table. 

Finally, make the kids your business partners.  If you have client calls or work that requires your full attention and a quite space while the kids are home, you can explain to the kids that you need this window of time for work.  Of course if you have very young children your quiet time is restricted to nap time.

Explain that you need their help to get this work done – you need them to be quiet and to not inturrupt you.  And because you appreciate their good behaviour you will spend time prior to the work time focused on getting them set up with a quiet activity and will spend quality time with them following your work time focused on them.  This can be you setting them up with an independent craft project then playing a board game, cooking/baking together or spending some girl time doing nails or hair just for fun. 

The most important thing to remember is that you can make both your business and your family cohabitate with a little give and take and a bit of thoughtful planning. 

If you would like more information on working your business while being available to your family email Kate@askcoachkate.com or click here to sign up for your free 30 minute consulation.

On The Ninth Day Of Christmas…

On the ninth day of Christmas Coach Kate said to me…

Enjoy your children!  As they are getting out early for the holiday break, set some time aside to enjoy some festive fun with them.  This may be making cookies, having hot coco while watching Polar Express or Elf or wrapping gifts for family and friends together.  Including your children in the holidays is a great way to create those family traditions. 

Need some support for your post-holiday let down?  Email Kate@askcoachkate.com for a chat on how to start 2011 on the right path.

On The Fifth Day Of Christmas…

On the fifth day of Christmas Coach Kate said to me…

Take a break – spend an hour to sit quietly, enjoy a cup of tea, a hot bath and some holiday music.  By giving yourself a chance to recharge and rejuvenate you will be better able to handle the inevetable chaos of the next week. 

Need additional ways to recharge?  Email Kate@askcoachkate.com to get started.

On The Third Day of Christmas…

On the third day of Christmas, Coach Kate said to me…

Spend less time running around and more time enjoying the simple joy of the season with your family.  Maybe a trip to the beautifully decorated mall that involves NO shopping but maybe a hot coco or an evening drive to look at all the handsomely decorated homes. 

If you would like more tips to get organized and focused this season email me at Kate@askcoachkate.com.

12 Days of Christmas

As we are all “wrapping” this season up and heading into 2011, I thought I would share some ways to keep the season from becoming overwhelming. 

At this point many of us are wondering if we have enough gifts for the kids, family members and friends.  We are headed out several nights a week to a host of holiday parties, visiting with family and friends while trying to get everything ready for the big day.  And you have to work, take care of your family, run the house, drive the kid’s car pool, volunteer.  Just writing it makes me exhausted and overwhelmed. 

 Over the next 12 days I will post a tip to help make the season less insane! 

Happy Holidays

On the first day of Christmas Coach Kate said to me…

 Take an hour to evaluate your gifts to make sure you have all that’s needed for the Christmas day.   Make a list of  each person and what you have for them.  This allows you to see what shopping needs to be finished.  It will also  keep you from spending countless hours and dollars on shopping when you probably have enough, you just need to pull it out of the hiding closet.

Need some support to deal with all you have going on this holiday season?  Let’s chat about how we can get you better organized and focused to make this season more manageable.  Email me at Kate@askcoachkate.com to get started.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving here in the States. It is a day full of food, family and enjoyment. I often think of this day as the calm before the holiday chaos storm. It is the last chance to relax before the hectic season of festivities begins.

I know I am already planning time to decorate, spend time with family and friends, attend various holiday events at my daughter’s school – my calendar is already filling up for December.

I am also making time to be thankful and to show my gratitude to those special people in my life today on this day of giving thanks for our immense bounty in our lives. Giving thanks is something that comes naturally to me – I have been blessed with a grateful heart.

I am teaching my children to be thankful each and every day. As part of our bedtime prayers, we speak our Thankful List. We each have to say at least 5 things we are thankful for from that day. It is an amazing experience to hear what a 6 year old gives thanks for. My daughter might have started out with giving thanks for her “stuff” but it quickly turned toward the important things – family, home, and friends. It is wonderful for me to experience this special sharing with her each evening.

Nurturing gratitude for all the we have and all we have experienced is not always easy but without the incredible journey we each have been on we would not be the amazing people we are today.

I invite you today, on this Thanksgiving, to take some time to connect with gratitude. Feel it in your heart. Let it not be just some words you speak but instead an emotion you embrace.

And just so you know, you are on my thankful list today. Each reader of my blog, subscriber to my newsletter, fan on Facebook, and follower on Twitter – I give thanks for you and your support of my business. I am truly blessed and you are a piece of that blessing.

I wish you the happiest of Thanksgivings!

At Peace With Food

Below you will find an excerpt from my new workbook which will be available for purchase starting November 1st. Please feel free to leave your comments or share your experiences below. I would love to hear from you.

Following the birth of my son, in the wake of my life disaster, I was found that exercise became enjoyable again. I felt up for going for a walk 8 weeks post partum (c-section) and started jogging super slow 9 weeks post. My body just wanted to move.

This caused me to take note as I had struggled with exercise for the past 5 years. I lost some weight but not much and as the weather turned colder I was not able to keep up with my exercising. I was back on the yo-yo with my weight.

January 2010 I was drawn to grow my awareness around my current relationship with food and exercise. Through looking at my eating habits and patterns, how I felt before I ate, while I was eating and after I ate (increasing my awareness) I had a new understanding of my relationship with food and my body.

I came to realize I used food to not feel my emotions, to literally stuff down my emotions with food. I realized I snacked at night after the kids were asleep and the house quiet because I was so terrified to feel intensely that I would try to stuff down the feelings of loneliness, sadness, anger, resentment and dissatisfaction.
In having this awareness, I made the decision to make a life I loved for myself. I started by working through the emotions I didn’t know I was stuffing. Once I knew what to look for I could pay attention to my actions around this and just take note.

Knowing did not instantly cause a behavior shift. I had been using food to stuff my emotions my whole life, that’s not going to change in a few weeks or months. It occurred to me in a quiet kind of way that I was addicted to food.

Food made me feel safe, comforted, soothed, and loved. I used food to deal with my sadness, hurt and resentment. By having this awareness I now knew what I needed to work on emotionally. So I got to it and started working through a whole new layer of emotions I didn’t realize were bubbling below the surface.

Thru this process I also realized I had been at war with food and my body most of my life. I had used exercise to counter my eating habits for many years. With these new understandings I decided I wanted to change that. I was working very hard to create a life of peace and there could be no peace outside if I had a war waging inside.

And I was done with the war and with being fat. I was finally ready to live my life for myself, to own all of who I am, good or bad.

Do you have emotion baggage that is holding you back from a happier life? If you answered YES contact me today. Make the first step toward a happier future – you deserve it!

Did you know I am offering 3 incredible opportunities to join me live? I will be hosting 3 teleseminars this fall that you won’t want to miss. Learn more and sign up for my upcoming free teleseminars here!

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